Thanksgiving 2011

Today is a bitter sweet day. Bitter cause my husband is having to work this week so he has missed out on family time with us today. I sure hope he knows we love him and that I am thinking of him today and always, and that I am so thankful and lucky to have him in my life. Life is so wonderful and I feel so blessed to be where I am today. Today is sweet because I have my two brothers visiting and my two nieces and my younger brothers girlfriend. Having them here is so great. I have such a hard time around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Its then, that I miss my family members who have passed on, the most.

Since I got put back on my pills, I have been feeling and doing so much better. I am also trying this new diet. I havent really seen results yet but it has only been two weeks so I am still hopeful. I know it works though, because I have seen it for myself, with others who have tried it. My weight has been an issue for me since I was 16 and nothing I have ever tried has helped and I most definately dont feel so great about myself. Im trying though.

My crazy life

I just got put on a new medication for my depression and it is so rough adjusting. I know that it will be better for me in the long run so I am trying to stick it out and get through the adjustment period. In the past, I would stop taking the medicine because it made me feel aweful, physically. I keep trying to tell myself that once i'm over that hump, my life with feel more worthwhile to me. I have such wonderful friends and family who are always there for me to talk to and help get me through my hard times. I would not know what to do without you all.

I was able to go get a new car a few days ago, with the help of my wonderful mother in law. She helps Adam and I so much and I love her dearly. I married into one of the most wonderful families I have ever had the chance to get to know. We all have had our fallings out but we were able to walk away closer as a family.

I have had a lot of fun hanging out with Cadon today. He is such a joy. I have so much fun with him, when he is not getting frustrated. I sure dont know how my life would be without that little man.

Tae Quan Do Tournament

Cadon had a Tae Quan Do tourny in Salina Utah today, and he did so amazing. He brought two first place trophies home. It was a very proud moment for both Cadon and mom and dad. It is so awesome to see Cadon excle in something he loves and enjoys doing.

Fun with friends

I was able to go with my dear friend Amber and her son Adam to Salt Lake City, to take Adam to the airport to fly out and see his dad, on Tuesday. We went to the Beehive House and then the Lion House for lunch. It was such an amazing experience. It is always wonderful to learn more history about the LDS religion, even tho I have been LDS my whole life. I hope to be able to go again sometime and take my family to experience the great Spirit you feel when you are there, and the history behind it all. I am so grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I do not know where I would be in my life without the Savior by my side. Anyway, these thoughts just came into my mind and I felt like I needed to share.

Feeling unattractive

My depression has been really bad lately and I have been so down that I have not wanted to do anything. I have been hanging out with a really good friend for the last few days straight and I think that it has helped me keep my mind off of how I am feeling inside about myself. I have been struggling with my weight since I was 16, and it has taken a toll on my life, and now my relationship with my husband. He is so sweet, loving and understanding but it hurts him to see me beat myself up. Me being down on myself makes him not want to be around me and that hurts. I dont know what to do. I have tried all the diets and exercise out there and nothing works. I try eating right and not eating fatty foods or a lot of sugar and it is so frustrating not to see results. Anyone that has a special secret, please, feel free to let me in on it. :)

My Boys

The past two years have been two of the best years of my life. I met, fell in love with, and then married my best friend. The first few months had its ups and downs, but we made it through stronger, better, and closer as a couple and family. My mom has been such a wonderful help and support to us in our time of need. I dont know what I would have done without her. I feel that way about my entire life with my mother. She is amazing. My husband got a wonderful job a few months ago working for Mountain Homes Youth Ranch as a field counselor, and he enjoys it very much. Cadon and I are so lucky to have such an amazing father and husband in our lives. Cadon LOVES school this years. (Yeah) He has made new friends in our ward and plays with them as much as possible. He is such a joy to have in our home. He always knows what to say to me when I am having a bad day. He comes to me a lot and say how much he loves me and how glad he is that I am his mom. He is one special little boy and I wouldnt trade him for the world. Back to my husband, He has been one of the biggest blessings in mine and Cadon's lives. He is so wonderful to us and he TRUELY loves us for who we are and WANTS to take care of us. It is an amazing feeling, knowing you are unconditionally loved by someone. I never thought I would find a man like Adam to spend my life with. I never felt good enough for anyone. I never felt like I was worth loving, until Adam came into my life. He makes me feel so special and makes me feel like I am worth his love. I love where I am in my life right now and I wouldnt trade any of it for anything.